Her eyes open… but she can’t see anything… the room is dark… She wonders why she can’t see.
The room is quiet. She listens carefully for the soothing sounds of her mothers heartbeat but she can’t find it. Is mama here?
She can’t smell her mothers calming scent. Is anyone else here? Am I alone?
She turns to her left and searches with her tiny hands for the warmth of her mothers body… Nothing. She turns to her right and searches again… but nothing. She feels alone and scared, not understanding why her eyes are not working, why she cannot see.
She begins to cry…
Mama’s comforting hands quickly rest gently on top of her. She feels secure again knowing that her mother is always near. Mama begins to pat her down softly… and within a few seconds she dozes back to sleep… safe and sound.
A few hours later she begins to feel thirsty…
She doesn’t know how to satiate that thirst… She turns to her left… then to her right… but she is still thirsty. She cries out for help!
Her mother comes quickly and tries to pat her down but she begins to cry again.
Mama scoops her up, holds her tight and takes her into her warm bed where Mama then nurses her…
She places her tiny hand on her mothers heart… soothed by the calming sound of her mothers heartbeat that surrounded her for the 9 months she lived in her mothers womb.
Her mothers soft lips press lightly on to her forehead as she hears her mother whisper, “I love you my precious child” and although she can’t speak yet, she has heard those words at least ten times a day every single day since she was born. She knows that it is something good and special. Her heart gets a tickle of warmth and happiness as she dozes off into blissful sleep held in the support of her mothers blanket of love.
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Last night, before I went to bed I thought of how my daughter may be feeling through the night which would explain her night wakings. The above thoughts are what I came up with.
Don’t get me wrong though… I do believe that a baby is lucky to know how to self soothe and I know that in due time it will happen. I don’t need to force that with crying it out as I do not want to become desensitized to my daughters cry. Cry it out doesn’t specifically work for me and my family but I do not judge others who have chosen that route. We all need to do what is best for our own family.
I tried patting Aaliya down so she doesn’t rely on nursing to sleep which seems to be working well. When I see that she is nursing only to fall asleep I lay her down in her cot(which is a few feet away from my bed) and lay one hand lightly but firmly on her shoulder (as if I was holding her… or as if she was swaddled) and I pat her down with my other hand. She usually falls asleep within thirty seconds.
As she wakes up through the night I check on how many hours it was since she last fed. If it was recently then I try patting her down first for a minute. If she carries on fussing then I pick her up and feed her. She will then either co-sleep with me for the rest of the night if I am very tired or I will put her back in her cot until her next wake up.
I am hoping that with the patting down first she will learn to self soothe on her own when she is ready.
The best part about all of this is there is no crying involved. I feel that we are meeting both her needs and mine.
I read this article on cry it out a few months ago and it deeply touched my heart and soul. I would like to share it with my readers: Just Let Her Cry
Wish me luck, that this works for us long term.
🙂
Thanks everyone for your kind thoughts and e-mails… I loved reading every single e-mail with your thoughts and experiences.
I wanted to leave you guys with a song that I sing to my daughter and son.
It is a song I heard on Barney when I was pregnant with Aaliya and it really stuck with me. I love every single thing about this song and it makes my heart tingle with warmth:
Oh, sweet little girl
Oh, sweet little boy
Rest your head on a cloud
Made of feathers.
Oh, sweet little lamb
Oh, sweet little child.
Snuggle up in your blanket of love.
A hug and a kiss
A nighty-nite story.
There’s nothing you’ll miss
till you wake in the morning.
Oh, sweet little girl
Oh, sweet little boy
Rest your head on a cloud
Made of feathers.
Oh, sweet little dear
I’ll always be near.
Loving you now and forever (my love…)
Hang in there Nadia!
My daughter is the same age as yours. We have the same issue, but I think this period would pass by and we can sleep more and more. They're growing so quickly! I always get 'good' advice from people, but I follow only my insticts. Forunately, my husband supports me. Great wrap, by the way (what brand?). I also carry Mara in different baby carriers and I think it's also great for her and me, too. I can cook while I satisfy her need to be close to me. 😀
Thanks for posting this. There's one of M's cries that I describe as the "I woke up and there was no one there" cry. It sounds like your little one has a similar cry.
I really enjoyed reading this post, and the photos of Aaliya are beautiful. I like your solution.